I am very conscious in this present age of Ministry that I often fail to support or respond adequately to those who have experienced a loss in their life. Driven on to the next crisis or new development as well as supervising the on-going ministry of two other churches will often result in many unfinished pieces of pastoral care. However I know that ministry in its proper context is about the whole people of God and that there are others who provide the pastoral care and support which is so often needed during bereavement.

I'm delighted that such people exist in Cullen and Deskford and I value their on-going work and wise counsel.

In previous years I have run or facilitated bereavement support programmes which does not detract from the benefits of one-to-one support from a minister, visitor or elder. Indeed organisations such as Cruse Bereavement Care and other agencies also offer excellent counselling when it is needed. However I feel that there is a need or could be a need for individuals to meet together and share, or simply listen to those who have experienced loss in their lives.

There are three things people need in the journey through bereavement. Firstly they need to know they are normal. Ministers can tell them that and give them bucket loads of reassurance. But to meet others who look, sound and react just as they do gives more reassurance than any single person can ever offer. Secondly they need continued contact over time. This means acknowledging the loss on the first anniversary especially when others have drifted away. Again we have an excellent ministry from a member of the church who makes sure that everyone gets a card on that date. Finally people need time and space to tell their story and to find it resonating in the experience of others. A nod from another group member when someone, in a safe environment, is bold enough to say how they are and how they feel, speaks more powerfully than all my words of pastoral reassurance.

I have spoken to Jean Forbes, who many of you will know, and Jean would be more than happy to co-facilitate these groups with me. I am happy to make the time and suitable premises available. If this is a support which you feel you could use then speak to me or send an email and we will arrange something. Most sessions would last one hour for six weeks and it wouldn't matter at what stage you have been bereaved; for some the loss is always present.

Douglas